Acknowledging My Support Network

It’s really tough to tell your loved ones what you want or need when your in the middle of dealing with a life tragedy, especially when you don’t even know yourself.

One minute I don’t want to be alone.

The next minute all I want is space, peace and quiet.

I know the one thing I constantly want is the noise in my head to stop, but I also know that no one is able to help me with that.

I do know though, how lucky I am to have such loving people around me who genuinely care for me and my well-being and are also grieving the loss of Chayce.

I know you are thinking;

Do I call? Do I text? Do I leave a voice message? Do I visit? What do I say? Do they need anything? How can I help? Did they get the flowers? Have they eaten? Do they know I’m here if they need anything? Do they know that they can talk to me about it? Or that they don’t have to talk about it at all?

I appreciate that it would be hard to navigate around your loved ones grief and at the same time worry you might be coming across too pushy.

I can assure you all, please do not worry. You are all doing an amazing job.

In the thick of it all, I didn’t really fathom nor fully acknowledge how hard it must of been for my friends and family watching on from the sidelines but wanting very much to be on the field with me, having my back.

Please understand, I have no doubts that you would all take away the pain, if you could.

I know if love or money or anything else could have helped Chayce, I could count

on each and every one of you to move mountains and help us bring him home.

I want to acknowledge it now though.

So, a big thank you to my support network for helping my husband and I, sometimes without even realising it;

By patiently waiting to hear from me.

For the random check in’s.

For listening when I want to talk and for changing the subject when it all gets a bit too much.

For leaving me alone when I can’t make conversation and not making me feel guilty about it.

For sending us love from near and afar.

For keeping us in your thoughts & prayers,

and for loving Chayce so much. I know your hearts are breaking too.

I am yet to find the strength within me to grieve directly alongside you.

It’s probably going to take me more time and it might be part of the reason why I’ve hit the road. On top of everything going on, I just can’t go face to face with the heartbreak and the sadness in the eyes of all the people that I love so much.

Chayce’s Grandparents, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, Friends.. The list goes on.

You are all apart of my support network and everything you do for us has not gone unnoticed.

I just really want you all to know that I feel the love, but I just need more time.

You all know who you are.

You all play an important role in this journey.

And you all keep me going.

Big love.

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